I’ve made plans….

This is the longest I’ve gone without having an online presence, somewhere to write down all the inane rubbish that goes on in my life so that almost no one can read it; maybe because I no longer feel like I have anything - inane or otherwise - to say. 

My life consists of working, and sleeping and that’s about it. 

Still, maybe by writing things down, it will either motivate me to do more, or at least give me something to do whilst I’m busy doing nothing - hey, I didn’t say it was going to make sense.

Well, it seems an obvious choice, due to where we are in the year to do some sort of summing up of 2010, and some kind of predictions/hopes for 2011. One thing I can say is that it has to be better than this year. 

I’ve come fairly far I suppose, and at the same time haven’t really moved forward in any way. Dan and I have been here for just over a year and our friendship has pretty much dwindled to nothing, which is kind of sad, although a two-way thing. I got fed up of making all the effort and getting constantly rejected, as apparently being in bed on the net is more fun - fair enough, I’d probably pick that over me too at the moment! It kind of doesn’t help when your house mate dislikes your boyfriend to a large extent.

I’m still missing my former life massively. Keele is pretty much where I belong in my head, back with everyone just messing about, having a laugh and occasionally learning something interesting too - if not about my subjects, then about myself. I think maybe I wouldn’t feel so attached if I had actually got to do my third year properly, instead of everything that went on, or, more accurately, didn’t go on. Maybe if I had just been a stronger person, to be honest. But I suppose that’s just another thing I learned about myself.

My main aim for next year is probably just to get some direction. I’ve never been one for planning, even in day-to-day activities, let alone long-term. The future, or more precisely growing up, scares the hell out of me. I know they say you’re only as old as you feel, but let’s face it, even now I can’t do half the things I could just a couple of years ago. It makes me sad on a scale of epic proportions which most likely seems completely unreasonable to most people.

So I’m not going to make any resolutions, just vague ideas of where I would like to be this time next year. I would like to be fitter. Not necessarily thinner, but more able to do energetic things without feeling like I’m about to die. This, I feel, is probably an aim pretty much everyone should have to be honest. 

I would also like to not hate my job quite so much as I do. Whether this means finding something new, or just finding a way to be happier in the job I currently have.

I would like to have at least started saving some money for an epic adventure. Life is short, and I’d like to do something with it. Something that broadens my horizons a bit - this will ideally mean travelling, which unfortunately requires money I don’t have right now. This first stage in this is paying off debts I already have. I’ve managed to clear my credit card, and to money I owed Dan, so now it’s just my brother and the bank I owe. Getting there…slowly.

Finally, I’d just like to be a bit happier with things. This is the one I have most trouble with, as I tend to think of the down-sides. Hopefully though, achieving the above things will lead onto this.

So that’s it, some online ramblings, finally. Maybe I’ll come back soon!

Tagged as: 2010. 2011. work. life.